I know I haven't written on this site in months...and to be honest, I probably won't write on here much at all anymore...I share a love hate relationship with memories and dreams can be amazingly influential. So, blame my dreams if you will, but don't look for me here. Farewell.

Currently Playing 100th Window By Massive Attack see related

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I'm just a visitor here, I am not permanent...

 New Years Eve....and where was I? Alone at the top of a hill overlooking a small mountain town. At my back was a dark house on a hill....I'd been here before...last new years party with terah. We'd gotten bored and took a walk, coming to the same pinnacle were I stood now, we saw this house all lit up with some kind of sophisticated party going on inside. We'd crawled up the hill to spy, only to be scared off by some gentlemen coming out to the porch to smoke a cigar..........one year later, here I stand alone, staring at that dark desolate house with a cigar in my hand....Things have changed and will only continue to change....this isnt my home....I just feel like a visitor to this place. I can feel myself becoming more disconnected and disenchanted with everything and everyone. It scares me........the future scares me.....I think my heart is subconsciously programmed to not get attached...........why else would I be feeling this way? I once again feel that I could pick up and move away and not care. I feel bad for saying that, because I do love all my friends here, but I feel so estranged from everyone.